Cowschwitz

Long time no write. Well, my flatmate came to Finland for a week a while ago. It ended up being a binge, as was expected..

Day 1:
Kossuglögi (Finnish vodka Koskenkorva mixed with Glögg) in Riihimäki. Ken was immediately given shock-treatment by the Finnish alcohol prices. Welcome to hell, Scotsman.



Day 2:
Aulanko National Park. It started snowing the night Ken arrived. Rural Belarussian scenery avoided!



Started the evening with sauna and rolling in the snow behind the garage of our apartment building. Then Hämeenlinnaean karaoke and striptease feat. sweet xmas elf Melanie! Unfortunately only Ken has the photos of the babes and the dildos.. and of him winning the 2nd place in the Vuoden Pukki -competition (Goat of the Year).

Day 3.
Again reindeer for dinner. No more breadcheese for Ken, please.



In the evening we went to see some (Ice) Hockey Playing Knights. Millions of leather jackets. Finland is the place where cows come to die, Cowschwitz.



Later we headed to Helsinki and Redrum for Misf*ts club night. 'We are like in one those cool Scandinavian magazines of yours!' And so the money was gone.





Day 4.
Some sightseeing in Helsinki.



Ken, being a cheap Scot, made A. Asplund to give him one of his necklaces for free..



Then it was time for Turku; Ella's farewell party and my favourite club in the world - Dynamo!



Day 5.
Nintendo Wii, American Gladiators and booze tasting, perfect pre-party for another night of Dynamo-ing. Vlad, Absinth, mint, tar and liquorice vodkas do not result in sweet dreams; I was bitten in the eyeball by my evil ex-stepmom's dog and then beaten with an ice-hockey stick.

Day 6.
Tuomas joined us and we boarded the ship for Stockholm. Even getting kitchen oiled by a Swedish sex toy maniac the night before didn't spoil Ken's appetite. Between the three of us, we managed to down five bottles of wine in the buffet (and fail at stealing one) in 1.5h, which I consider a decent performance.





Day 7.
Wee tour in Gamla Stan of Stockholm to end Ken's stay.



Tuomas and I returned to Finland by another boat filled with trannies (1) and Gypos (10).

Anton Karas, the man with the zither

You don't have to be Oedipus to enjoy your mommy

As the day turned into night and December 1st finally arrived, flat 1/0 decided to officially welcome the festive season. Hats on, tree up, baby fetish on TV and voilà!

Transportation in Sodankuula

An Aki Kaurismäki interview/document by (the recently controversial figure) Jonathan Ross from the early 1990's. Apparently he made four of these, the other three being of David Lynch, Alejandro Jodorowsky and Pedro Almodovar. It's an hour long and divided into four parts. I advice not to stop after the first part as the second is hot sex.

Roboankka 'n' Heimo Huima vs. Chip 'n' Dale

Who wants to watch these classic cartoons with me? I'll even buy us a bottle of wine to accompany the experience!

It's intriguing how all pigeons seem to know each other by name ( Greek philosopher Christos Georgiadis 1988- )

Cute As Buttons

Today I decided to reward myself for almost making it to the lecture and bought myself an early xmas present. I really love buying presents when they're for me, I always know what to get. Here's pics of the purchases. Can't wait to get back to Finland where a package containing these should be waiting for me. Just look at the eyes of that wee kitten!



And the posture of that rhinoceros-riding panda!

In a lifeless carcass, In a bad ass car crash

Here's a short version of my favourite song at the moment, Islands - The Arm's Way
click here to download the full version or watch the video!

Matti Pellonpää

In last night's dream, I woke up a certain lovely girl by kissing her gently on the cheek. Reluctantly she raised her head and said: "Matti Pellonpää".

Piru merrassa

I twisted my poor ankle thrice tonight while playing 5-a-side. I didn't weep for it was only phantom pain. (I was born without ankles.) Anna-Leena Härkönen's sexy aura blinds me.

Owner interrogated over cocaine factory explosion in Dundee.

I will never give up!

And some raw härmä-attitude to balance the Dundee-Häme scale.

Don't go back to Kirkton

A bit of Dundonian accent (and scenery..) for y'all.

Blindness & the Disabled Newborn

I will never again allow my flatmates to attend an 'art' auction without my presence. Well, at least their purchase should help me lose the 8kg's I've gained this year. I will be avoiding entering the kitchen at any cost with this thing on the wall.

Timo Jutilan kesätervehdys!

Preserved Moose, the Patron Saint of Quality Footwear

Some films I've watched this autumn.





Gin-iro no kami no Agito (Origin: Spirits of the Past) ★★★
An entertaining anime adventure taking place 300 years in the future in a post-apocalyptic world where, erm, machines and the forest battle..





Burn After Reading ★★★
"That is funny." (An elderly lady sitting behind us in the cinema.)





Control ★★★★
Touching portrait of Ian Curtis, the singer of Joy Division. I'm not a big fan of the band so no extra stars given for the music. Almost as good as Ganes...





Ikiru ★★
Hey Akira! When will this end? I really have to pee! Oh, now they're eating Sushi.. I wish I had bought that Kinder Bueno.





It's a Free World ★★★
Saw this one at a small indie cinema in Stockholm. Great atmosphere. I think the curtains covering the screen had some kind of cool childish animal print. I like giraffes.. but I'm afraid of Africa so I will probably never see those wonderful creatures roam free in the savannah. Anyways, the film was a bit too preachy but I immediately liked it as the opening scene took place in Katowice where I had the worst diarrhoea ever. Good memories. (I was yet to discover the wonders of Immodium.)





Barfly ★★
Rather boring a Bukowski adaptation. Some good moments though;

Wanda: I can't stand people. I hate them.
Henry: Yeah.
Wanda: You hate them?
Henry: No, but I seem to feel better when they're not around.





Planet Terror ★★★
Best in Texas.





Shortbus ★★
Young, pretty and mostly gay New Yorkers seeking sex and sexuality. Never thought I'd see a guy singing the US national anthem using another man's cock as a mic.





Spinal Tap ★★★
No idea why I hadn't seen it before. Best laughs in a while.





Sweeney Todd ★
I can't sing, but neither can Johnny.





Short Cuts ★★★★
Concentration demanding, but lovely, collection of short stories.

-"How Many Clowns Can You Fit in That Car?"






Le Amiche ★★★
"Le Amiche will go down in my books as a story starring women, about women and for women that is still highly relevant in today's society. It has withstood the test of time perfectly, and its exploration of women, their relationships, their attitudes that differ depending on either their single or married status, is an amalgamation of keen observations that make this an enjoyable a must-watch, peppered with good punctuations of humour throughout."
-nutshell review





L'histoire de Richard O. ★★★
Sexy as fuck. Suomi-kevennys, huraa!

Concentrating on Endurance Rather Than Reality

I would like to clarify something about my past. There have been rumours around the city that I invented hip hop. Let me assure you, this is not the case. All my closest advisers hold the opinion that I should not name any of the suspects (for starting these nasty rumours) by name. And as I trust their judgement, I have decided to refrain from providing you with such information. Nevertheless, I know you well enough to know that you will not leave me alone until I have given you something to chew on. So here is a hard fact you might enjoy:

"Even though the Jews only make up 1.9 per cent of the country's (USA) population, an astounding 56 per cent of Clinton's appointees were Jews."

Detective Eddie Makinen, NYPD

Who thought chewing gum disposers in the streets of Dundee would be a good idea? If there's something in this world that belongs on the ground (or alternatively attached to a chair or a table at school) it's gum. Where would we be without all the childhood diarrhoeas gained from sucking old gum? Boycott and spit, please.

Holding My Bread

The other night, our poor air mattress pump was robbed of its dignity and employed as a bong. At least we didn't feed it with éclairs filled with rottweiler sperm.

Today you were served by PHIL

"I hadn't understood how days could be both long and short at the same time. Long to live through I suppose, but so distened that they ended up flowing into one another. They lost their names. The words yesterday and tomorrow were the only ones that still meant something to me."

-Albert Camus